Some days are easier than others. There are days that fly by, and days at drag on. I have struggled and fought postpartum depression with the birth of each child. This time was no different. This time I became a completely different person. A shell of who I was before this pregnancy. I talked to my doctor. We worked out a plan. I expressed my concern and disdain for anti depressants and how I felt awful that taking one was helping. He probably explained it the best I've ever heard. "You don't get an epidural during labor because you're weak. You do it because you're in pain. It's like a crutch if you break your foot. You just need it until you're better. It's not forever." This put me at ease. Because I need to be better. I need to able to remain calm even when I want to lose my cool. Even when my kids have unfolded the laundry for the umpteenth time today. When one of the littles has spilled his food down his third change of clothes for the day. I think it's important to be honest with yourself. It's important to be honest with your doctor. Postpartum hormones are very strong. PPD is very real, and very scary..and in a lot of cases, won't just go away on its own. At first I chalked it up to "the baby blues" mood swings, feeling tearful. But then I realized how bad it really was. I wasn't eating. I wasn't sleeping. I was angry. I was temperamental. I was not happy. But wasn't I supposed to be? I just had a baby! This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life right? Wrong. Yes, I am over the moon ecstatic to have a healthy, beautiful baby to love and care for and watch grow and blossom into eventual adulthood. But I couldn't make the bad feelings go away. I couldn't stop doubting myself. I couldn't accept that my body had just given birth and shouldn't be expected to snap back like a rubberband to a bikini ready body. It doesn't work that way. Easy enough to understand right? Not so much. I was blinded by hormones. My mind was foggy. Days were blurring together and I had to desire to do much of anything. I still have my emotional days. Im still really freaking tired, and I still have the same amount of stress. But my mind is clear. I can calmly handle every day tasks and situations. I still struggle with my image. But I'm working on it. I have a loving, caring husband, and four beautiful boys with the quirkiest personalities and the cutest little faces. My life is not perfect. But it is so very full of love and laughter and togetherness. And that's enough for me. I hope that if you face any of these challenges, if you feel like you are struggling, that you will also seek help. Talk to a friend, your spouse, a family member...someone. Sometimes just talking it out can help things make sense. Just remember..it's only a bad day...not a bad life. It won't last forever and you WILL smile again. You will one day feel rested. I've decided that life is too short not to focus on the good and the happy. Find your happy.
Mother of Boys,
Over and out.
Sunday, August 28, 2016
hormones or something,
Some days are easier than others. There are days that fly by, and days at drag on. I have struggled and fought postpartum depression with the birth of each child. This time was no different. This time I became a completely different person. A shell of who I was before this pregnancy. I talked to my doctor. We worked out a plan. I expressed my concern and disdain for anti depressants and how I felt awful that taking one was helping. He probably explained it the best I've ever heard. "You don't get an epidural during labor because you're weak. You do it because you're in pain. It's like a crutch if you break your foot. You just need it until you're better. It's not forever." This put me at ease. Because I need to be better. I need to able to remain calm even when I want to lose my cool. Even when my kids have unfolded the laundry for the umpteenth time today. When one of the littles has spilled his food down his third change of clothes for the day. I think it's important to be honest with yourself. It's important to be honest with your doctor. Postpartum hormones are very strong. PPD is very real, and very scary..and in a lot of cases, won't just go away on its own. At first I chalked it up to "the baby blues" mood swings, feeling tearful. But then I realized how bad it really was. I wasn't eating. I wasn't sleeping. I was angry. I was temperamental. I was not happy. But wasn't I supposed to be? I just had a baby! This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life right? Wrong. Yes, I am over the moon ecstatic to have a healthy, beautiful baby to love and care for and watch grow and blossom into eventual adulthood. But I couldn't make the bad feelings go away. I couldn't stop doubting myself. I couldn't accept that my body had just given birth and shouldn't be expected to snap back like a rubberband to a bikini ready body. It doesn't work that way. Easy enough to understand right? Not so much. I was blinded by hormones. My mind was foggy. Days were blurring together and I had to desire to do much of anything. I still have my emotional days. Im still really freaking tired, and I still have the same amount of stress. But my mind is clear. I can calmly handle every day tasks and situations. I still struggle with my image. But I'm working on it. I have a loving, caring husband, and four beautiful boys with the quirkiest personalities and the cutest little faces. My life is not perfect. But it is so very full of love and laughter and togetherness. And that's enough for me. I hope that if you face any of these challenges, if you feel like you are struggling, that you will also seek help. Talk to a friend, your spouse, a family member...someone. Sometimes just talking it out can help things make sense. Just remember..it's only a bad day...not a bad life. It won't last forever and you WILL smile again. You will one day feel rested. I've decided that life is too short not to focus on the good and the happy. Find your happy.
Mother of Boys,
Over and out.
Mother of Boys,
Over and out.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
Pigs are flying, right?
As some of you may know...I encourage my kids to help clean up, but I don't force them. Today, I told Alexander that in order to play a game, he had to help Austin empty the dishwasher. And he did it! He actually did it! He put away the silverware all by himself, and put away the things he could reach. I am so unbelievably proud right now. Obviously, he did it to be able to play a game. But normally even when that's the case, he still refuses to clean up. He didn't fuss, didn't complain...he just did it. And they were happy about it. I love this. I love that at the age of four he is beginning to understand responsibility. I don't mind them playing a video game. I don't. But I don't want them thinking that someone is just going to walk around picking up after them their whole lives. They've been doing awesome working together. They're helping each other learn how to write letters and numbers..and even words! The May bicker and brawl...but the bond between these brothers is a beautiful thing.
Mother of Boys,
Over and out.
Mother of Boys,
Over and out.
Big brothers to the rescue.
I seriously love how the older boys come to comfort Axel. If he cries, they all come running. Even the dog comes running to see what's up. It's quite the ordeal. And then, they HAVE to help. Especially Aaron. This morning, I noticed axels toenails could use a trim. I had just clipped his fingernails a few minutes ago, and silly me, I left the clippers on the ottoman..which I was sitting on at this point. I ask the boys if they've seen them. Aaron is quick to chime in,"clippers! Me pocket!" Sure enough, he pulls the clippers out of his pocket and hands them to me. (Aaron loves pockets...and will specifically request pants with pockets so he can out stuff in them. This makes laundry even more exciting.) as I'm clipping Axels nails, Aaron stand watch reminding me,"gentle mommy, gentle." "Thank you buddy, I will make sure I'm gentle." As I'm hearing "hi-yah!" "Owwww!" "Heeheeheehee" "super slam!" "Hahahaha" from the other room where Austin and Alexander are playing. If his husband of mine ever wakes up today, we're supposed to be going to a lularoe launch party for a friend of ours. I'm super excited. If you haven't tried their leggings, and you like leggings, you should definitely try them! I haven't tried the dresses or shirts. But I'm excited to see and try some on today as I've heard they're pretty nursing friendly! And with a baby who needs boob on the regular, accessibility is key. Now to pack up so,e snacks and hopefully get out of here on time!
Mother of Boys,
Over and out!
Mother of Boys,
Over and out!
Friday, August 26, 2016
Hello lovelies! I'm not so sure how long this will be since the kids messed with the iPad and now the screen is flipped which would be cool but it's cracked and it makes this all wonky looking. I was talking with a friend of mine today and we were discussing how hard it is to make friends as an adult. Because, you don't go to work to make friends, you don't really go out to meet up with friends because everyone has kids and the kids have school and events and practices. Life gets hectic! But as moms, we NEED friends. We need another mom to say ,"hey, I know you're exhausted and it's hard right now but you're doing a great job and you've got this." We need to be reminded that we are more than our roles. To my children, I'm mommy. To my husband, I'm his wife. To me...what am I to me? How do I see myself? I can tell you, it's not pretty. We're usually our own harshest critic. And that needs to stop. Moms, if you see another mom struggling with her kiddos..it's okay to offer her a hand. Seriously. And you know what? She might even thank you. *gasp*
It was so easy to make friends when you interacted with 100s of people on a regular basis. Now, all the other parents have their circles. It doesn't feel like high school ever actually ended does it? And maybe you know some really awesome moms and they're super nice...but they've already got friends and bonds and they aren't looking to make any new ones. I'm not saying go and pretend to be friends with people you can't stand. Don't do that. Encourage other moms. Lift them up. Show them support and understanding. Regardless of your own opinions, every mother has to do what works best for her family. Be a friend. Be someone you would want to be friends with. I cannot stress enough..."Treat others as you would like to be treated." Life is hard enough without feeling like you're being judged. Or feeling like you're unwanted or just don't fit in.
Parenting is hard. It is. It's also the most rewarding thing I have ever done. Period. Hands down. Those boys may seem like little hellions sometimes. But you know what? They're kids. Yes. I said it. Kids. Kids who should be allowed to run, jump and play as kids do. It's healthy for them to have lots of energy and to want to be rambunctious. What's not normal is expecting them to sit still for any extended period of time. You know why I don't keep fancy, breakable or expensive things where the boys might break it? Not because they intentionally break things. They don't. But accidents happen. So rather than get mad because something got broken, I choose to be patient with them and wait until they're older and can understand how these accidents happen and how to avoid them. I am letting my kids be kids. And I choose to surround myself with people who support that. I don't have alot of friends. But I have some really amazing ones. Ones who are there for me when I need them, ones who drive hours to show up at the boys birthday parties and most importantly, ones who show my children and myself respect.
We can all make this world a better place. "Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
Mother of Boys,
Over and out.
It was so easy to make friends when you interacted with 100s of people on a regular basis. Now, all the other parents have their circles. It doesn't feel like high school ever actually ended does it? And maybe you know some really awesome moms and they're super nice...but they've already got friends and bonds and they aren't looking to make any new ones. I'm not saying go and pretend to be friends with people you can't stand. Don't do that. Encourage other moms. Lift them up. Show them support and understanding. Regardless of your own opinions, every mother has to do what works best for her family. Be a friend. Be someone you would want to be friends with. I cannot stress enough..."Treat others as you would like to be treated." Life is hard enough without feeling like you're being judged. Or feeling like you're unwanted or just don't fit in.
Parenting is hard. It is. It's also the most rewarding thing I have ever done. Period. Hands down. Those boys may seem like little hellions sometimes. But you know what? They're kids. Yes. I said it. Kids. Kids who should be allowed to run, jump and play as kids do. It's healthy for them to have lots of energy and to want to be rambunctious. What's not normal is expecting them to sit still for any extended period of time. You know why I don't keep fancy, breakable or expensive things where the boys might break it? Not because they intentionally break things. They don't. But accidents happen. So rather than get mad because something got broken, I choose to be patient with them and wait until they're older and can understand how these accidents happen and how to avoid them. I am letting my kids be kids. And I choose to surround myself with people who support that. I don't have alot of friends. But I have some really amazing ones. Ones who are there for me when I need them, ones who drive hours to show up at the boys birthday parties and most importantly, ones who show my children and myself respect.
We can all make this world a better place. "Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
Mother of Boys,
Over and out.
Hello morning! Pancakes. Coffee. Alright. Lots to do today. Hoping to hear back from this job for hubby. I'm nervous and and excited. So. What happens when you tell the toddler not to touch the hot pan you're using to make pancakes? You know..the one all the way on the BACK of the stove? He touches it. Poor Aaron. He's the cutest when things like this happen. "Mommy. Me finger burn." "You burned your finger?!" "Yeahhhh. Mommy blow on it?" "Sure sweetheart." These little moments. They melt my heart. Moments where I can make him feel better..moments where he looks to me for comfort and I have an answer. I know I won't always be able to help him, I won't always have the answers..but I do right now and that's enough for me. Alexander is up now. I'm holding my breath waiting for them to start fighting. Or for someone to complain about someone else's butt being in their face. Or someone standing in front of the TV...or you know..someone breathing the wrong way while looking in the wrong direction. Or eating his brothers food even though they all have the EXACT SAME thing. That's all for now. I hope you'll follow my blog for updates, antics, stories and more!
Until then,
Mother of Boys over and out.
Until then,
Mother of Boys over and out.
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Today was Austin's 2nd day of school. And I went total mom fail on this day before it even started. I woke up late, he woke up late..luckily I pack his lunch the night before just in case. Thank goodness. So now it's like 8:15. Axel has an 11:00 check up and the office is about 25 minutes from us. As usual on days we have an appointment...I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off because...I have to make sure axels diaper bag is packed, bring a wrap and at least two changes of clothes for each kid. No, I'm not exaggerating. You can almost guarantee that they will either spill, drool, vomit, pee, poop or dribble on their clothes.
Matt ran to put gas in the van, I get the kids dressed, clothes, socks, shoes..okay.
"Brush your teeth guys"
"Wahhh no!"
"Seriously guys we have to go, you need to brush your teeth."
At this point, I drag them one at a time into the bathroom and brush their teeth. After all, they're 2 and 4 and when they brush themselves they don't do the best job anyway..so maybe it's better this way. (Ha! I'm kidding right? Really? Really?!) everyone is ready, I get Axel in his car seat and off we go!
Get to the doctors office..no parking spots. drove around the lot and found one that had opened. (It's always a pain to find parking at this office.) Matt took the Alexander and Aaron to get some snacks from the store in the building and I went up to the office with Axel. First of all...we get up to the desk..and she called Axel a girl. 😑 ever since Austin was a baby I make sure that when we go out I always dress them in blue. At this point Im pretty sure I do it subconsciously. (I made the mistake of putting Austin in yellow when we went out once, and someone asked if he was a boy or a girl..not sure why but I was completely and utterly offended.) the wait was a little longer than usual but that doesn't bother me. However..it was hot as heck in there. I HATE being hot. Cannot stand it. Neither can Axel. They come in, take his stats and vitals, then we wait some more and the doctor comes in. Couple things. I've known since he was born that Axel has a tongue tie. I'm noticing lately that he also has a lip tie. Second thing. He occasionally breathes like a pug. Mostly when he's laying on his back. I've asked the doctor about this before and they kept saying it would go away. He's 4 months old and it hasn't gone away. So I pushed. I informed the doctor that he WAS born facing up AND he makes these noises. He went "oh. I'm giving you a referral for an ENT"
After this my husband informs me that we need to stop at the store because he needs a work shirt..and everything we have is packed. When we got there, Axel was sleeping so I thought nothing of bringing him in in the car seat rather than wrapping him. (When in doubt, wear the wrap out) we get Aaron out of his car seat...he's had an accident. Matt takes Alexander and Axel in while I change Aaron real quick in the van. (Pay attention now. Change of clothes #1 for Aaron.) I get in and Matt is waiting for the woman to grab a cart because she saw him with his hands full. 😑. Finally..she gets to us with the cart trying to be helpful instructing me to put axels care seat on top of the cart. No. Not happening. I know it's not safe. Alexander sits down on the floor. (Oh please no. Seriously? No! Ah crap. He did) he peed. On the floor. Okay. He's 4. Kids have accidents. So Matt takes him back out to the van to change his clothes. ( change of clothes #1 for Alexander.) I inform the woman that he had an accident and the floor is wet so she puts a sign up and gets someone else to help her. As they walk up, the original woman tell the other woman that he had an accident and the second woman responds with "what did they not have any diapers or something?" As calmly as I could I said "he's potty trained...he just had a little accident, we were just at the doctors office so he must've been holding it." To which she responds, "oh so you were getting him checked out for this peeing thing?" (At this point, horns may have popped out of my head, maybe steam rose from my nostrils.) "NO...we were at the doctor for the BABY'S 4 month check up if you must know." Bitch.
Now we're attempting to walk around the store to find some clothes for the hubs while carrying an infant seat with a 16 lb baby in it and chasing a 2 and 4 year old. Mind you, daddy gave them candy at the doctors office. (I'm sure you know where this is going.) they're zigging, they're zagging. They're hiding under clothes racks and rolling like secret spies across the floors..and cackling like wild hyenas. People are staring. Another thing I'm really not fond of...being stared at. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. I can feel their eyes burning into my skin. I leave Axel with Matt and go chase Aaron who is running through the kids section. Alexander is helping me chase him since he's smaller and can weave quickly through the narrow aisles. This kid. He made a leaping tackle. Took Aaron down and pinned him until I got there. I'm really glad no one saw this. I had to hold back my laughter as I scolded Aaron for running off. I'm sweating like sumo wrestler in a sauna. I'm carrying Aaron. Alexander following behind...not for long. We find dad and he's wiggly, giggly duck, tuck and roll again. I grab the keys, take Axel and Aaron to the van..sit in the ac and wait. At some point between leaving the store and getting into the van...Aaron peed..again. Get him changed (change of clothes #2 for Aaron) feed Axel, wait a little more. ( I swear these kids are normally really good about telling us when they have to go potty) I call the ENT on the referral and leave a message. Matt gets back to the van, and we head home.
hubby goes to meeting. I send the kids to play in the backyard because in a matter of five minutes, Alexander punched Austin in the stomach, Austin fell down and bumped into Alexander who them kicked Aaron so Aaron kicked Alexander back and sent him flying off the couch. Everyone's having a meltdown. They go outside, I try to clean up a bit inside. They come in, they each want something different for dinner. One wants cereal, one wants a hot dog. One isn't hungry but then later decides he also wants a hot dog. Done. Bath time. Sometimes Aaron and Alexander get along really well and they're super sweet to each other...this was not one of those times. "He took my dinosaur!" "He's on my side of the tub!" No that's my dinosaur!" "Mom, he's pouring water on my head." Goodness gracious. Bath time is over. Still hungry. Everyone gets a snack. Axel goes to bed at this point. (There's something so breathtakingly beautiful about a baby who's just nursed himself to sleep) Matt tells Austin he needs to brush his teeth and go to bed...Austin whines how this is unfair because his younger brothers get to stay up and he has to go to bed. (Okay kid. You can whine all you want, you're still going to bed.) Aaron falls asleep pretty quickly. Alexander throws a bit of a fit. He calms down and snuggles up to dad on the couch and now they're both passed out and snoring. What a day.
Matt ran to put gas in the van, I get the kids dressed, clothes, socks, shoes..okay.
"Brush your teeth guys"
"Wahhh no!"
"Seriously guys we have to go, you need to brush your teeth."
At this point, I drag them one at a time into the bathroom and brush their teeth. After all, they're 2 and 4 and when they brush themselves they don't do the best job anyway..so maybe it's better this way. (Ha! I'm kidding right? Really? Really?!) everyone is ready, I get Axel in his car seat and off we go!
Get to the doctors office..no parking spots. drove around the lot and found one that had opened. (It's always a pain to find parking at this office.) Matt took the Alexander and Aaron to get some snacks from the store in the building and I went up to the office with Axel. First of all...we get up to the desk..and she called Axel a girl. 😑 ever since Austin was a baby I make sure that when we go out I always dress them in blue. At this point Im pretty sure I do it subconsciously. (I made the mistake of putting Austin in yellow when we went out once, and someone asked if he was a boy or a girl..not sure why but I was completely and utterly offended.) the wait was a little longer than usual but that doesn't bother me. However..it was hot as heck in there. I HATE being hot. Cannot stand it. Neither can Axel. They come in, take his stats and vitals, then we wait some more and the doctor comes in. Couple things. I've known since he was born that Axel has a tongue tie. I'm noticing lately that he also has a lip tie. Second thing. He occasionally breathes like a pug. Mostly when he's laying on his back. I've asked the doctor about this before and they kept saying it would go away. He's 4 months old and it hasn't gone away. So I pushed. I informed the doctor that he WAS born facing up AND he makes these noises. He went "oh. I'm giving you a referral for an ENT"
After this my husband informs me that we need to stop at the store because he needs a work shirt..and everything we have is packed. When we got there, Axel was sleeping so I thought nothing of bringing him in in the car seat rather than wrapping him. (When in doubt, wear the wrap out) we get Aaron out of his car seat...he's had an accident. Matt takes Alexander and Axel in while I change Aaron real quick in the van. (Pay attention now. Change of clothes #1 for Aaron.) I get in and Matt is waiting for the woman to grab a cart because she saw him with his hands full. 😑. Finally..she gets to us with the cart trying to be helpful instructing me to put axels care seat on top of the cart. No. Not happening. I know it's not safe. Alexander sits down on the floor. (Oh please no. Seriously? No! Ah crap. He did) he peed. On the floor. Okay. He's 4. Kids have accidents. So Matt takes him back out to the van to change his clothes. ( change of clothes #1 for Alexander.) I inform the woman that he had an accident and the floor is wet so she puts a sign up and gets someone else to help her. As they walk up, the original woman tell the other woman that he had an accident and the second woman responds with "what did they not have any diapers or something?" As calmly as I could I said "he's potty trained...he just had a little accident, we were just at the doctors office so he must've been holding it." To which she responds, "oh so you were getting him checked out for this peeing thing?" (At this point, horns may have popped out of my head, maybe steam rose from my nostrils.) "NO...we were at the doctor for the BABY'S 4 month check up if you must know." Bitch.
Now we're attempting to walk around the store to find some clothes for the hubs while carrying an infant seat with a 16 lb baby in it and chasing a 2 and 4 year old. Mind you, daddy gave them candy at the doctors office. (I'm sure you know where this is going.) they're zigging, they're zagging. They're hiding under clothes racks and rolling like secret spies across the floors..and cackling like wild hyenas. People are staring. Another thing I'm really not fond of...being stared at. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. I can feel their eyes burning into my skin. I leave Axel with Matt and go chase Aaron who is running through the kids section. Alexander is helping me chase him since he's smaller and can weave quickly through the narrow aisles. This kid. He made a leaping tackle. Took Aaron down and pinned him until I got there. I'm really glad no one saw this. I had to hold back my laughter as I scolded Aaron for running off. I'm sweating like sumo wrestler in a sauna. I'm carrying Aaron. Alexander following behind...not for long. We find dad and he's wiggly, giggly duck, tuck and roll again. I grab the keys, take Axel and Aaron to the van..sit in the ac and wait. At some point between leaving the store and getting into the van...Aaron peed..again. Get him changed (change of clothes #2 for Aaron) feed Axel, wait a little more. ( I swear these kids are normally really good about telling us when they have to go potty) I call the ENT on the referral and leave a message. Matt gets back to the van, and we head home.
hubby goes to meeting. I send the kids to play in the backyard because in a matter of five minutes, Alexander punched Austin in the stomach, Austin fell down and bumped into Alexander who them kicked Aaron so Aaron kicked Alexander back and sent him flying off the couch. Everyone's having a meltdown. They go outside, I try to clean up a bit inside. They come in, they each want something different for dinner. One wants cereal, one wants a hot dog. One isn't hungry but then later decides he also wants a hot dog. Done. Bath time. Sometimes Aaron and Alexander get along really well and they're super sweet to each other...this was not one of those times. "He took my dinosaur!" "He's on my side of the tub!" No that's my dinosaur!" "Mom, he's pouring water on my head." Goodness gracious. Bath time is over. Still hungry. Everyone gets a snack. Axel goes to bed at this point. (There's something so breathtakingly beautiful about a baby who's just nursed himself to sleep) Matt tells Austin he needs to brush his teeth and go to bed...Austin whines how this is unfair because his younger brothers get to stay up and he has to go to bed. (Okay kid. You can whine all you want, you're still going to bed.) Aaron falls asleep pretty quickly. Alexander throws a bit of a fit. He calms down and snuggles up to dad on the couch and now they're both passed out and snoring. What a day.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Oh my word I can't believe I forgot this!
bathtime. Tonight's bath time was quite the clusterfuck. Yep. Axel needed a bath too. So I got Aaron in the tub..then Axel. Axel has recently discovered splashing. And it's adorable. However he doesn't get the concept of not splashing himself in the face. Cue the 4 month old inhaling water and scaring the bejeebus out of mommy. Finally get him calmed down, clean, and rinsed off. I get Axel out of the tub, ask Austin to go sit by Aaron for a second, and I set axel down to get him diapered and dressed. Now of course tonight I don't have the diapers pre stuffed so I'm putting one together (we use cloth) and I hear aaron start wailing. Shit. "What happened?!" Axel is screaming at this point because he's ready for bed (not even kidding). "Aaron got soap in his eyes!" Damnit! Of course. "Can you help him? Do I need to come in there?" Austin got the washcloth and helped Aaron wash the soap out of his eyes (Austin really is an amazing big brother.) Axel is still screaming. I scramble as fast as I can to get his diaper and pjs on. I get him into the bedroom, latch him on and bam..no more screaming. He's calm..and within 5 minutes he's out cold. When he's ready for bed..he's ready for bed. 😂
Finally. They're asleep. Some nights bedtime is easier than others. Usually one of the toddler beasts will go down easily and the other will take a little more to be coaxed into a drift off to dreamland. The bedtime routine, mind you, my husband's hours normally make it so that I'm on my own for this part of the day (I'm pretty sure he does this on purpose).
So here's how things (are supposed to) go down.
Dinner, typically followed by dessert
A little bit of playtime, maybe a game or a movie.
Bath time
Snack
Teeth brushed
10-15 minutes after brushing teeth I start getting them into bed.
If you forget their cups..you'll be reminded..until you go and get them a drink. And can't forget to put a diaper on Aaron because he's potty trained during the day..but at night the flood gates open and God forbid that child is naked when it happens. Interesting tidbit..Aaron turned 2, and then decided he was going to potty train himself. I literally had nothing to do with it other than to assist him when he asked me to.
Now they're in their beds. Easy enough right? HA!
No.
They will wiggle. And squirm. Alexander will ask for criss cross applesauce.
Aaron will also ask for criss cross applesauce
Mom or dad will do this about 5 times and then stop.
If it's a night where Alexander isn't quite ready to fall asleep..he will ask for more criss cross applesauce. Sometimes they get random bursts of energy at bedtime, when this happens..there is no point in trying to get them to sleep at that exact moment because it isn't happening. Theyll run up and down the hallway a few times, giddy and laughing because they think they're getting away with something. And maybe because they're slap happy since it IS past bedtime at this point.
I've learned that it's easier to let them ease into bedtime. I keep the tv off, as few lights on as possible. If they aren't tired, there's no forcing them to go to bed. I never did cry it out with my kids. They want me there to fall asleep, that's how they're comfortable. Some nights I wish they would just get into bed and go to sleep on their own, but then I remember...this is the only time they'll ever be this little. I might be exhausted, they might drove me completely bonkers when I just want a minute of quiet and they're bouncing off the walls because they caught their 2nd hundredth wind. And then finally...finally..they drift off to sleep, and we tip toe out of the room. Do I stay up and get a few things done? Do I try and relax? Do i just go to bed? Such a conundrum.
It's quiet in the house now. I can hear the crickets outside. I'm sore. trying to get back into shape after having my fourth baby, having arthritis in my ankle and scoliosis in my spine...I hurt. Some days I wake up and feel like I'm 90. This is why I know I need to stay active. I keep moving even when it hurts. Yes, I need to see a doctor about it..will I? Maybe. Doctors and hospitals freak me out.
Speaking of doctors, tomorrow is Axels 4 month check up. I can't wait to see how much he's grown! Obviously..I see it. But I want to know the numbers and where he is on the scale. After not being able to nurse with Austin, I'm proud to have nursed Alexander and Aaron to 18 months, and I hope to nurse Axel that long if not longer.
Today was Austin's first day of school. He loves his teacher. Which is awesome. We have had some not so awesome experiences in years prior. I can't believe he's in 5th grade already. It amazes me how much he's grown. How quickly they all grow. I wish I could get back all the time I lost with him. When I was young and stupid and didn't know what it truly meant to be a mom. I love that enjoys doing things I find fun. Random dancing. Art. Science. And man oh man does that kid love cars. He can point out a corvette and tell you at least 5 things about it from a 1/4 mile away. (Ok maybe not that far. But the kid calls it 98% of the time.)
I'll bid you goodnight now...this post is insanely long and I don't mean to bore you.
So here's how things (are supposed to) go down.
Dinner, typically followed by dessert
A little bit of playtime, maybe a game or a movie.
Bath time
Snack
Teeth brushed
10-15 minutes after brushing teeth I start getting them into bed.
If you forget their cups..you'll be reminded..until you go and get them a drink. And can't forget to put a diaper on Aaron because he's potty trained during the day..but at night the flood gates open and God forbid that child is naked when it happens. Interesting tidbit..Aaron turned 2, and then decided he was going to potty train himself. I literally had nothing to do with it other than to assist him when he asked me to.
Now they're in their beds. Easy enough right? HA!
No.
They will wiggle. And squirm. Alexander will ask for criss cross applesauce.
Aaron will also ask for criss cross applesauce
Mom or dad will do this about 5 times and then stop.
If it's a night where Alexander isn't quite ready to fall asleep..he will ask for more criss cross applesauce. Sometimes they get random bursts of energy at bedtime, when this happens..there is no point in trying to get them to sleep at that exact moment because it isn't happening. Theyll run up and down the hallway a few times, giddy and laughing because they think they're getting away with something. And maybe because they're slap happy since it IS past bedtime at this point.
I've learned that it's easier to let them ease into bedtime. I keep the tv off, as few lights on as possible. If they aren't tired, there's no forcing them to go to bed. I never did cry it out with my kids. They want me there to fall asleep, that's how they're comfortable. Some nights I wish they would just get into bed and go to sleep on their own, but then I remember...this is the only time they'll ever be this little. I might be exhausted, they might drove me completely bonkers when I just want a minute of quiet and they're bouncing off the walls because they caught their 2nd hundredth wind. And then finally...finally..they drift off to sleep, and we tip toe out of the room. Do I stay up and get a few things done? Do I try and relax? Do i just go to bed? Such a conundrum.
It's quiet in the house now. I can hear the crickets outside. I'm sore. trying to get back into shape after having my fourth baby, having arthritis in my ankle and scoliosis in my spine...I hurt. Some days I wake up and feel like I'm 90. This is why I know I need to stay active. I keep moving even when it hurts. Yes, I need to see a doctor about it..will I? Maybe. Doctors and hospitals freak me out.
Speaking of doctors, tomorrow is Axels 4 month check up. I can't wait to see how much he's grown! Obviously..I see it. But I want to know the numbers and where he is on the scale. After not being able to nurse with Austin, I'm proud to have nursed Alexander and Aaron to 18 months, and I hope to nurse Axel that long if not longer.
Today was Austin's first day of school. He loves his teacher. Which is awesome. We have had some not so awesome experiences in years prior. I can't believe he's in 5th grade already. It amazes me how much he's grown. How quickly they all grow. I wish I could get back all the time I lost with him. When I was young and stupid and didn't know what it truly meant to be a mom. I love that enjoys doing things I find fun. Random dancing. Art. Science. And man oh man does that kid love cars. He can point out a corvette and tell you at least 5 things about it from a 1/4 mile away. (Ok maybe not that far. But the kid calls it 98% of the time.)
I'll bid you goodnight now...this post is insanely long and I don't mean to bore you.
Just another night with the a-team
Im in the kitchen trying to make dinner. Pizza. Nothing fancy today...mom is tired and our dinner options were limited considering I started at 5:30. Crap. Trying to take the pizza out of the oven, Alexander and Aaron have smushed themselves around my legs, shoving their step stool in front of the stove. (Really guys?) in an attempt to clear the kitchen, Alexander swoops behind me, throwing me off balance. I then end up stepping on Aaron's foot because I'm trying my damnedest not to fall on and smush my children. "Crap! Sorry! Sorry! Mommy's sorry buddy!" "Okay mommy! Me okay!"
Phew. Pizzas out. Cooled for a few. Trying to cut up said pizza. Alexander brings the step stool. "Can I use that?"
"No"
"why not?"
"Because it's only for adults to use. Not for children."
"I'm not a child"
"So you're an adult now?"
"No."
On the bright side...he brought me his plate and cup when he finished eating
Phew. Pizzas out. Cooled for a few. Trying to cut up said pizza. Alexander brings the step stool. "Can I use that?"
"No"
"why not?"
"Because it's only for adults to use. Not for children."
"I'm not a child"
"So you're an adult now?"
"No."
On the bright side...he brought me his plate and cup when he finished eating
So here goes nothing. I'm a stay at home mom of four wonderful boys. I believe in love and compassion and forgiveness. I believe that you should treat others as you want to be treated. I believe in crying. Swearing. Yelling. Not at my kids. But you know. I'm far from perfect. I mess up..a lot. I burn dinner...breakfast...toast. I live on coffee and clif bars...and the occasional glass of wine. My husband...ohhhh my husband. He's a man of many talents. One of which is pushing my buttons and letting the kids get away with things mom doesn't. (Thanks dude.) but he's an amazing father, a super chef, and my best friend. Our dog..he's an asshole..he's a good boy, but he's got attitude just as bad as the 10 year old. (We'll get to that later.) I plan to homeschool the younger littles this year, I've been let down just a few too many times by the public school system to continue trusting them with my children. Currently, I'm fighting to lose the rest of my pregnancy weight. I'm battling my postpartum depression, and nursing a baby. Hubby and I have been together for 6 years, married for 2.
Our youngest son Axel is 4 months old. Axel, oh Axel. He is the sweetest, happiest little baby. Literally, his nickname is Happy. He loves sleep, boobs and being worn. Oh and his hands. He loves to chew on his hands. He has the most adorable little smile. He wakes up nice and early, which sometimes sucks but I wouldn't trade it for anything...it's our nice little alone time before the chaos gets going for the day.
Aaron. Our sunshine. He's smart, he's cute, and he is fearless. He loves swings, animals, and his family. He may be small but he is mighty. He insists on doing everything himself. And I mean EVERYTHING. "Hey buddy can I give you hand opening that yogurt?" To which you'll be answered with a "mommy, me do." He is mommys little helper. If I'm washing dishes...he has to help. If Im cleaning the bathroom..he has to help. Scrubbing the floor, changing his little brothers diapers, scooping the kitty litter...you name it..he wants to help.
Alexander, my gentle giant. He's sweet, but he packs a wallop. He can usually be found not wearing pants, playing with dinosaurs, spraying his brothers with the hose and/or playing in the dirt. King of ignoring requests. Daddy's little buddy. He has a tendency to get a little too rough. A big ball of boundless energy. He loves cuddles, and wrestling..the two usually end up being the same at some point. We call this aggressive cuddling. 😂 also fearless. And has some of the most priceless facial expression you have ever seen.
Austin. My firstborn. He's 10 going on 20. He's a huge help with just about everything...but he usually puts up a stink about it. Eager to learn anything he can, he loves Blackhawks hockey and dessert. He's quite the whirlwind of emotions. And he always has been. He's an amazing big brother pretty much all of the time. He definitely has his moments...his little brothers want nothing more than to hang out with him but he'd usually rather be left alone. He loves playing outside, hanging out with his friends and of course...video games.
I cannot wait to share some crazy stories, antics and mishaps with you. I hope you all enjoy this crazy beautiful adventure we call life.
Our youngest son Axel is 4 months old. Axel, oh Axel. He is the sweetest, happiest little baby. Literally, his nickname is Happy. He loves sleep, boobs and being worn. Oh and his hands. He loves to chew on his hands. He has the most adorable little smile. He wakes up nice and early, which sometimes sucks but I wouldn't trade it for anything...it's our nice little alone time before the chaos gets going for the day.
Aaron. Our sunshine. He's smart, he's cute, and he is fearless. He loves swings, animals, and his family. He may be small but he is mighty. He insists on doing everything himself. And I mean EVERYTHING. "Hey buddy can I give you hand opening that yogurt?" To which you'll be answered with a "mommy, me do." He is mommys little helper. If I'm washing dishes...he has to help. If Im cleaning the bathroom..he has to help. Scrubbing the floor, changing his little brothers diapers, scooping the kitty litter...you name it..he wants to help.
Alexander, my gentle giant. He's sweet, but he packs a wallop. He can usually be found not wearing pants, playing with dinosaurs, spraying his brothers with the hose and/or playing in the dirt. King of ignoring requests. Daddy's little buddy. He has a tendency to get a little too rough. A big ball of boundless energy. He loves cuddles, and wrestling..the two usually end up being the same at some point. We call this aggressive cuddling. 😂 also fearless. And has some of the most priceless facial expression you have ever seen.
Austin. My firstborn. He's 10 going on 20. He's a huge help with just about everything...but he usually puts up a stink about it. Eager to learn anything he can, he loves Blackhawks hockey and dessert. He's quite the whirlwind of emotions. And he always has been. He's an amazing big brother pretty much all of the time. He definitely has his moments...his little brothers want nothing more than to hang out with him but he'd usually rather be left alone. He loves playing outside, hanging out with his friends and of course...video games.
I cannot wait to share some crazy stories, antics and mishaps with you. I hope you all enjoy this crazy beautiful adventure we call life.
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